E Clampus Vitus

Credo Quia Absurdum

May 27, 6001

 I found this at a Clamper Doin's,
Thats not to say Grand Council wrote it.
but it sounds like a good resolution.
Naturally I disclaim all responsibility.

"Credit Card"

Resolution No. 69 approved this 27th Day of May in the year 6000.

The sublime and imperturbable Board of Proctors of Grand Council, E Clampus Vitus do hereby Resolve:

Whereby this Board last July at a rump session approved a resolution denouncing those who wish to play with the Proctors’ Whang, and urging them to play with their own Whang, instead and

Whereby this Board, in all magnanimity, would be delighted to let all and sundry place hands on their collective Wang, which they created, manipulated into being and then mothballed, and

Whereby this Board now having been appraised of hitherto startling, previously unknown facts, namely that some of our Brethren? Apparently have no Whangs of their own, and

Whereby it has been ascertained and verified that the Proctors have a great deal of sympathy with the Whangless members, who, indeed, undoubtedly would want to get their hands on a Whang, and

Whereby because of individual despair over egregious error of having admitted Whangless persons to the organization, that the Proctors, as the Almighty, Concerned, Spiritual, Political and Intellectual Governing Body of this Organization, do Hereby Resolve:

That all members of this organization appealing for a Whang, submit to public examination to determine if they are indeed Whangless,

That there shall be created a special group under the Aegis of Clamperdom to be known as the Grand Order of Eunuchs, and all such previously described members who fail the rigorous examination shall therefore be especially ordained into the Grand Order of Eunuchs of E Clampus Vitus.

That all such members of GOE shall, forevermore, and without stint of prejudice, be entitled to coddle, caress, clutch and coalesce with the collective Whang of the Proctors of the Grand Council once each year, at a date and site to be chosen by the Sublime Noble Grand Humbug.

 Last Modified: January 01, 2015